


Saudade: Two-Faced Lovers

by yozakuun



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! VRAINS
Genre: Additional Warnings Apply, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pregnancy, Teen Pregnancy, Trans Male Character, Unplanned Pregnancy, additional characters not listed, trans!yusaku
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-10-26 16:46:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17749679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yozakuun/pseuds/yozakuun
Summary: "Saudade: Melancholic longing or nostalgia for a person, place, or thing that is far away from you."A slight change in actions occurred after the Tower of Hanoi's fall, and Yusaku is facing the aftermath of his decisions.  With secrets kept from the light of day, what direction will his new life take with newfound discoveries and new foes?  And what will he do about his longing for a certain cyberterrorist?Aka, a fic where Yusaku and Ryoken bang before Ryoken leaves on his boat, and Yusaku ends up pregnant.





	Saudade: Two-Faced Lovers

**Author's Note:**

> 'Sup peeps, I am Yozari and this is my first multichapter fic for Datastorm! This AU came from several discussions in the Datastorm server, and I decided I needed to give fanfic-writing a try by using this as my first piece! I hope y'all enjoy, and I welcome any feedback, both positive and criticism! 
> 
> Special thanks to IcyPhoenix, stardustupinlights, Umbri, and ChibiJudai for being so hyped for this AU! I couldn't have done this without your support.

        The series of events leading up to the reveal had crept up on Yusaku much too quickly.  Signs piling up one after another, he had failed to realize what was happening to his body-- or perhaps, he was just denying the truth of the matter all along?  He wasn’t  _ clueless _ after all, high school did teach the students sex ed when everyone was a first year.  Yet when it came to his own personal wellbeing, all Yusaku wanted to do was ignore the warnings.  Nausea in the morning, an increase in fatigue, feeling faint. . .they were all symptoms that Yusaku felt often enough to the point that the rise in frequency didn’t faze him.   

        Other signs had caused some concern, but the teen had been willing to dismiss them as nothing more than minor inconveniences.  His chest grew sore much sooner during the day, causing Yusaku to adjust the straps on his binder around noon versus the evening before starting on an all-night project.  Going on his second month of no period? He could just blame the  testosterone injections for making his cycles so irregular.  

 

        To acknowledge their existence was to recall _that_ incident, which was something the wisteria-haired teen wanted to both forget as well as remember for the rest of his life.  As much as he reminisced over the pleasure of that evening, of their shared connection ascending to greater heights, the overwhelming pain of the aftermath still burned his heart to an almost charred state.  It was so much _easier_ to overlook the evidence pointing at the source of this problem than to face it head-on.  Surely if he could just forget, this pain would go away?   
        Did he want it to disappear though?  Would it be easier to forget and move on, or remember and stay hung up on the past?  Why couldn’t he have both? To seize that new future together with _him_?

 

        The kicker to truly confirmed his suspicions was an incident one afternoon. Over the past couple of weeks, Yusaku’s mood had been rather erratic at times. The feelings of anger and sadness flowed and ebbed constantly as if the emotions were playing tug-a-war on his heart.  Today, however, it was just god awful. While assisting Kusanagi with the food truck’s day job, the wisteria-haired teen had stumbled over his feet with two cups of coffee in his hands, thus spilling them all over the floor. In most cases, Yusaku would just apologize before silently cleaning up the mess.  
This time he stood there frozen, staring at the scattered liquid as tears ran down his cheeks.  Kusanagi simply took one look at Yusaku when hearing the noise, and he decided to send him home.  The wisteria-haired teen rejected the notion, but insistence was returned in the face of his resistance.  He was _fine_ , it was a mishap and nothing more!  The uncharacteristic act of crying was something that the hacker knew he needed to work on if he was going to keep his act together.  If he allowed himself to be sent home now, it would only cause worry for Kusanagi. In the end, however, push came to shove figuratively with the older man winning.

 

It was during his walk home that Yusaku passed by a local drug store, and in an impulsive decision, stepped in to purchase a pregnancy test.  He did buy some cheap cold medicine as well as a bottle of water in order to ease the weird look he would inevitably receive, but the interaction with the cashier was awkward at best.  No eye contact was made, and Yusaku ignored any attempts at conversation, only acknowledging the price of his purchase. All he wanted was to get home as soon as possible so he could prove his own suspicion false.  The sooner he accomplished that, the sooner he can dismiss the possibility and chalk all of these symptoms to a weird case of the flu.

 

So why. . .why was he sitting on the edge of his bed, in the shambles of an apartment, staring down at this little pink stick with a + on the end?  The memories of _that_ day came rushing back, no longer suppressed by his denial.  Yusaku hadn’t wanted to fight Revolver, not after learning his true identity, but for the sake of everyone who had been absorbed by the Tower of Hanoi and its leader’s refusal to back down. . .Playmaker fought on.  He even tried to reason with the cyberterrorist during their final duel, trying to persuade him that they could seize a future together.  
Even afterward, in the real world, Yusaku tried once more.  Sought to change Revolver--no, Ryoken’s--mind, even if he had to bare his own soul and heart to him.  When Ryoken had reciprocated, hope swelled inside of Yusaku; was he perhaps loved back? Since their war was over, would they finally be at peace together?  Those thoughts kept him going during the whole process, desperate to prove himself and his love to the other duelist.

Yet in the end, Revolver left without another word, not even a final kiss.  He escaped to his boat and sailed away, disappearing to let Yusaku clean up the mess they had made.  The act had left his heart shattered, barely speaking to anyone for over a week. His departure with Ai had been painful as well, but he powered through the goodbye because he no longer needed the Ignis to be his prisoner.  It wasn’t right of him to keep it held hostage, so with a farewell ( along with a threat to keep his shameful secret hidden, or else Yusaku would inflict an agonizing deletion ), the two had parted ways.

 

        Over the course of the following weeks, the wisteria-haired teen’s mental conflict was beginning to take a toll on his mind.  He couldn’t tell which inner battle was truly worse--the still bickering war of his dissociation between Ryoken and Revolver, or the blow dealt to his already unstable mentality of his special person’s actions.  It was both effortless and challenging to differentiate between the two personas; they were both one in the same person with their ideals and motivation. Revolver was the face of his hated foe, an obstacle Yusaku had to defeat in order to satisfy his thirst for revenge.  Yet Ryoken was the dearest person of his past, the one voice who had saved a dying child from being consumed by the despair of his helpless situation. Without Ryoken and his voice of encouragement, Yusaku would not be standing here today--

        Yet so much anguish was caused by the simple movement of betrayal; was it truly trickery from the other though?  Yusaku wished to believe that he could create that brand new future with Ryoken by his side, but was it only a self-romanticized dream of his?  He was still a cyberterrorist, he had still tried to destroy LINK VRAINS at the cost of hundreds of lives. . .he still tried to defeat Playmaker, even though the network’s hero had both arms stretched out in pure acceptance.  Who was to say what Ryoken’s thought process was during everything that occurred after his defeat in the virtual world? Yusaku couldn’t help but wonder how he must have come across when he more or less submitted himself to Hanoi’s leader: pathetic?  A lovesick teen wrapped up in a fantasy that Ryoken didn’t want? Was his reciprocation performed out of spite? Out of pity? Could it have been love? Yusaku wished he could know, but it was too late to learn now. Ryoken was gone, and it was unclear if he would ever return--for better or worse.

 

        Clenching his fingers around the cursed stick in his grasp, Yusaku all but slammed the drawer to his nightstand shut after chucking the item inside.  How utterly suitable of a consequence for his foolish infatuation, to be pregnant with the child of the world’s most wanted terrorist? How much more pain did he have to endure in this life?

        Yusaku knew difficult choices were looming in his future, and one day he would have to make tough decisions.  For now, though, no one was to ever learn of this newfound secret, or the repercussions of his deeds would come to light.

**Author's Note:**

> As of right now, I have no set schedule for updates since I want to balance this fic as well as my hobby of RP, but I have chapter two at least halfway done, so that one may be released soon.


End file.
